‘It’s only a cold so piss off,’ says GP’s answerphone
THE pre-recorded message on a GP’s answerphone has advised anyone who has symptoms of a seasonal cold to put the phone down and piss off. …
Northern man almost added kisses to text message
A MAN from Leeds came within a split second of putting a row of Xs at the bottom of a text message to a woman he likes. …
How to guiltily explain to your millennial friends that your parents are buying you a house
HAVE you spent years moaning about being part of ‘generation rent’ but now your parents are bunging you some cash for a house? Here’s how…
A month ago you were drunk by now
JUST one month ago you had already downed several glasses of Prosecco by this time, it has been confirmed. Exactly 31 days, or ‘sleeps’, have passed since…
Necessary to put on little show when late
EXPERTS have confirmed it is necessary to put on a little show when arriving late for work. Despite it making no difference to actual lateness,…
Your guide to being an annoyingly inconsistent vegetarian
MEAT-eaters usually grudgingly respect veggies’ healthy, ethical lifestyle choice. But not the ones with extremely arbitrary ‘rules’ they think it’s fine to break. Such as these… …