Mon. May 20th, 2024
Occasional Digest - a story for you

A LONG-TERM gilet wearer has admitted that his arms are often very cold. 

Anthony, not his real name,  has been parading around in a green quilted gilet in all seasons, insisting that he doesn’t ‘need’ sleeves in the face of rain, wind or snow. 

He said: “Football matches were cold but I didn’t want to look like some sleeve-owning wimp so I stuck it out. 

“The payoff to freezing your nuts off is that you look hard as fuck, but I’ve realised it’s just not worth it. It’s a relief to have accepted that I feel the cold like every other human. 

“Gilets may look awesome but they’re basically half-built coats and that makes no sense.” 

Designed to warm the thorax while chilling the wearer’s arms to icy buggery, the gilet remains a firm favourite with men who want to give the impression their arms are too ripped to be contained by an outer layer of sleeve. 

Ant’s wife Jess, not her real name, said: “He’s actually not Jason Statham and the anorak I’ve ordered for him from Peter Storm will prove that”. 

By Kevin Gower

I just want to be a handsome billionaire

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