How to sabotage your partner’s early bedtime
IS your partner being a dick and getting an early night as if that makes them better than you? Here’s how to shit all over…
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IS your partner being a dick and getting an early night as if that makes them better than you? Here’s how to shit all over…
WANTED to look sexy in the heatwave but now you’re sunburned and damp all over? Here’s what to do: Pretend your wet look is intentional …
THE rest of the UK has urged Londoners suffering record heat to bitch about it even more than they already are. From Manchester, where temperatures…
YET to complete an interaction that wasn’t steeped in awkwardness, misunderstanding and regret? These are the rules: Forget every name Whether a passing acquaintance, a…
IS your boss being a dick about giving you a payrise while moving you to a three-day week? Get around their spurious objections: Make it…
DOES your mum believe she knows of a career option that would make you rich? She has no idea that these five jobs are just…
A CAT whose devoted owner would lay down her life for him does not want to spoil things by labelling them. Black-and-white tabby Fitzgerald has…
IT’S boiling hot, you’re sticky and total bastards keep driving past in their noisy cars. Try getting a cool seven hours with these tips. Dump…
CONSUMING alcohol in large quantities can unleash talents you never knew you had. And may possibly want to forget. Skills such as these… Eating unimaginable…
ARE you aspirational parents who think the summer holidays should be a gruelling educational experience? Here’s how to make your kids cleverer than their friends. …
FEW statements uttered by a girlfriend put you on edge like the festering ambiguity of ‘I’m fine’. Here are the seven levels of panic you’ll…
A MAN whose son got into ‘Running Up That Hill’ after hearing it on Stranger Things is being weirdly possessive over having heard of Kate Bush first. …
THE most important man in recorded history has set an out-of-office auto-response on his email for 1pm until 6pm today. Marketing manager Julian, not his…
YOU’VE been rattling on about shite and your partner has zoned out completely. Here are five signs that mean you should shut up next time…
RELATIONSHIPS are largely arguments about chores, not having sex and staying together out of habit. But this out-there shit is the province of true freaks: …
SMALL talk is the office go-to for a reason – it avoids you discovering the extent of your colleagues’ awful personalities. Broach these topics at…
A WOMAN has confessed that he gets a kick out of having to nag his husband because it makes him feel incredibly horny. Jess, not…
THE male species might be a bunch of mansplaining know-it-alls, but there are some things they genuinely know more about than women. Here are just…
A WOMAN is convinced she can be ready to leave the house in 15 minutes despite never once doing so in her entire adult life. …
How to erroneously believe you're the best boss any employee could ever ask for YOU care so much about your employees, you even call them…