New boss wants you to know he likes football
YOUR new boss claims to be an ordinary bloke on the basis that he supports West Ham. The white male in his early 40s, brought…
Woman clearly villain of her own anecdote
A WOMAN is telling an anecdote which appears, to all listeners if not to the speaker, to be about what an arsehole she is. Sophie,…
How attitudes to gay kisses on screen have changed, according to your dad
USED to be you’d be up until 1am to see a couple of lasses kissing, now it’s on prime time. And the men. Your retired…
25-year-old woman tells mum about parking fine in hope she’ll pay it
AN ADULT woman has told her mother how upset about an unfair parking fine she is in the hope her parent will step in and…
How to understand today’s youth with the Teen-English Dictionary
HAVING remained a mystery for centuries, a new dictionary has translated the various grunts and noises used by teenagers. Start understanding them with these entries. …
Things you do in your 40s your own parents would never have got away with
MANY activities you do now would have made you a social pariah in your parents’ day, especially in middle-age. So cherish your freedom to do…
Loud sneezers told to get a f**king grip
LETTING rip with the deafening roar of a shotgun blast impresses absolutely no-one, loud sneezers have been informed. Professor Frost, of the Institute for Studies,…
Fact-checkers flummoxed by mate’s anecdote about epic night out
THE nation’s fact checkers are still attempting to verify thousands of claims related to an apparently legendary night out your mate has told you about. …