A MAN who believes the spring weather gives him licence to wear a Hawaiian shirt has been sternly corrected. 

Flamboyant dresser David, not his real name, has been reprimanded by friends and passers-by for greeting relatively pleasant temperatures with a floral shirt more suited to the tropical climate of a Central Pacific archipelago.

Friend Shaun, not his real name, said: “I’ve not shut Dave down because of his cultural insensitivity. He just looks like a massive dickhead.

“We’re only two days into April. The mercury is slowly inching up to 16 degrees. This is a time for T-shirts under denim jackets, maybe shorts if you’re one of those men and feeling adventurous.

“They’re only acceptable on holiday, during a prolonged spell of sweltering weather or at an office Hawaiian day if you work in a twat’s office. Even then, shirts decorated with little pineapples? Leave them to their target demographic of the closeted and divorced.”

Eyewitness Emma, not her real name, said: “Tom’s posing a visual hazard. I had to step into oncoming traffic in order to go over and tell him to put a hoodie over that gaudy shit.

“Also, wearing a Hawaiian today is goading the British weather into turning grey, showery and f**king freezing for the next six weeks. Don’t taunt it, you know how it gets.”