A MAN is unsure whether he had a great time last night or if he was just pissed, it has emerged.

Jack, not his real name, initially believed his evening with girlfriend Lucy, not her real name, was fun thanks to her wonderful company and the restaurant’s convivial ambience, but later began to suspect it was down to the bottle of wine and four pints he consumed.

He said: “I was actually in a bit of a mood when I arrived because Lucy had insisted we try a new tapas place and tapas gets on my tits. Why can’t I have a whole plate to myself?

“But the evening improved the more I drank. Lucy’s conversation became way more interesting after we’d drained the first bottle of rosé, and she was laughing a lot more at my jokes. The waiter wasn’t, but he must just have been a humourless bastard.

“After the meal we went to a pub, where the night continued to improve because we ended up nearly shagging in a cubicle in the ladies, until the barman came in and kicked us out.

“And we rounded things off with an argument at a bus stop, which I recall participating in with great enthusiasm. I’ve just received a message from Lucy saying ‘What a massive dick’, which could be taken either way so I’m going to chalk it up as a compliment.”