EXPERTS cannot work out why anyone would buy a small, expensive bottle of beer in a pub.

Researchers at the Institute for Studies found no reason to buy a little bottle of beer in an environment where you can get twice as much beer of superior quality for the same price.

Professor Lewis, not his rale name, said: “Maybe bottled beer drinkers just like the pretty labels, or feel it is useful to be holding a potential weapon in the event of a sudden brawl.

“Other than that, we are at a loss. Perhaps there’s some deep psychological reason to do with bottles looking a bit like penises, or being able to scratch off the labels to relieve sexual tension.

“People buying bottled beer in pubs is one of mankind’s great unsolved mysteries, like the Marie Celeste or who built those Inca temples with the weird UFO pictures.”

Bottled beer fan Tim, not his real name, said: “I’ll sometimes have something called a ‘Birra Morretti’ which is a mediocre foreign lager that works out at six quid for half a pint.

“I think it dates back to when I was 13 and thought bottles of Budweiser were incredibly cool even though ‘Bud’ tastes of nothing but marketing.”