I SUPPORT social progress, justice and anti-authoritarianism.

But I haven’t got time for squeezing Harpic down the loo, who has? Hannah, not her real name, state my important sustainability job starts at 10am.

There’s hardly space in my schedule to think up the ‘right’ moral values to impress people at dinner parties, which is why I’m not embarrassed that a foreign lady cleans my bog.

As an enlightened progressive woman, I always chat to the Ocado driver as an equal (I do the same with children and animals). But I can’t do small talk, put the tiger prawns in the fridge and be expected to sling a hoover around like some sort of stylish domestic octopus. Besides my cleaner loves her job and said there are no objective grounds for preferring a particular culture’s moral values.

Or as she put it ‘Miss Eleanor, in Bulgaria no problem.’ Plus I give her £10 an hour cash, on the condition she works every minute of every hour and always gives the microwave a deep intensive clean.

But to those who call me a privileged hypocrite and mock my ‘media tears’ I say this: I just genuinely thought everyone had a cleaner.