A MAN on a first date was unable to answer when asked a simple question about what he enjoys doing in his spare time.

Nathan, no his real name, aged 31, found himself speechless and panicking in the Ealing branch of Franco Manca, suddenly aware that he had no legitimate sources of enjoyment in his life.

He said: “Thankfully I’d just taken an ambitious mouthful of aubergine parmigiana, so I had some thinking time. But I basically realised that my only hobbies are dicking about on my phone and going to sleep. “

I suppose I could have said I enjoy going to the pub with my mates but I haven’t been arsed to do that recently. I tend to get pissed at home on my own and send them memes instead. “Other than that, obviously I do get joy from porn, but that doesn’t feel like a first date thing to say.

At least not if there’s to be any hope of a second. “In the end I threw the question back at her and she said she enjoyed wild camping, which meant any potential relationship was immediately dead in the water. “Still, at least it’s given me a push to find some kind of hobby to impress future dates.

I’m thinking I might get into Pokémon cosplay. Women like dressing up, don’t they?”