Man genuinely does not realise he’s gay
AN obviously gay man appears to be the only person in his circle of friends, acquaintances and family to have no inkling of his sexuality. …
Your closest friends and other people you should never discuss your sex life with
LEADING a rich and sordid sex life and want to share the raunchy details with someone? Here’s who to avoid opening up to. Your closest…
Noisy neighbours silenced by man seriously thinking about going over there
A GROUP of noisy neighbours turned off their music after a man seriously considered going over there, it has been revealed. Martin, not his real…
‘I just format Word documents’, admits highly-paid office worker
A WELL-PAID worker has admitted his job essentially consists of him just formatting Word documents, it’s been revealed. Anthony, not his real name, confessed that…
Female friend of gay man secretly believes he will one day turn straight
THE longtime female friend of an out and proud gay man secretly believes he will one day become straight, she has revealed. Helen, not her…
Wedding planner earns two grand for giving couple same wedding as everyone else
AN OPPORTUNISTIC wedding planner is earning up to £2,400 per wedding for providing couples with a bespoke day identical to every other one. After spending…
Cats confirm they’re no closer to understanding what ‘that’s mine’ means
CATS have confirmed they are no closer to understanding what the phrase, ‘no, that’s mine’ actually means. Cat, Saffy said: “As these things are usually…
Male terms of endearment, ranked
MEN cannot express affection towards other men and even choosing between a ‘mate’, a ‘dude’ or even a ‘fella’ is a minefield. Use this ranking…
The six worst reasons to hear from your ex
‘TIS better to have loved and lost, and even better to never hear from your ex again. Especially not if they get in touch for…
Spreadsheet Steve, and five other nicknames which mean your life has gone horribly awry
PICKED up a nickname? Proud of it, even though it’s a glaring sign your life has taken a wrong turn somewhere? Any of these is…
Why the answer to our childcare issues is a sexy Italian girl moving in: A husband pitches an au pair
CARING husband Stephen, not his real name, has noticed his wife is struggling to balance work and childcare and, like a hero, has come up…
Woman only smug about boyfriend because friends are dating worst dickheads imaginable
A WOMAN confident her relationship is superior to others is technically correct, but only because every other couple she knows is a car crash. Charlotte,…
Colleague massively overestimating emotional impact of her leaving
A WOMAN is under the mistaken impression that her leaving for another job is an important emotional event for those around her. Emma, not her…
Man’s facial hair clearly his proudest achievement
A MAN obviously considers his beard and moustache to be the best thing he has ever done with his life, and may sadly be correct.…
Lazy bastard millennial refusing to work for free
AN entitled young person has self-indulgently turned down a fantastic career opportunity of long-term unpaid work. Snowflake mathematics graduate Nathan, not his real name, aged…
Workplace friendship turns horribly awkward outside office
TWO colleagues had the horrific experience of discovering their banter-based work relationship does not exist outside the office. Tom invited Martin, not their real names,…
Couple that got together via drunken hookup offering dating advice
A COUPLE who drunkenly fumbled their way into a relationship are smugly offering dating advice to their single friends, it has emerged. Despite having only…
Why, as a 44-year-old man, I am too young to think of settling down
From Chris in Wellington I GET it. Women on apps expect a man of my age to have settled down. The ones aged 24 to…
Boyfriend who ‘can’t read minds’ also unable to understand verbal instructions
A BOYFRIEND who ‘cannot read minds’ can not comprehend verbal or written instructions either, his partner has confirmed. Joanna, not her real name, is frequently…
Chilling is an activity, men confirm
BRITAIN’S men are in agreement that chilling on the sofa, in the pub or in the shed is up there with hiking or windsurfing as…