Are you probably going to be sacked?
ARE you getting bad vibes from your boss and fear you may soon be fired? Take our fun quiz and find out for sure! When…
Six ways your kids will f**k up your holiday the second you leave home
THINK you’re about to embark on a delightful holiday with your lovely family? You aren’t. Here are six ways your kids will f**k it up.…
Difficult to imagine how your dad ever pulled
HOW their dad was ever considered attractive by the opposite sex is beyond most people’s imaginations, it has emerged. Even the most intelligent Britons are…
Passive-aggressive email phrases to make your colleagues hate you
EVER included the phrase ‘as per my previous email’ to suggest the person you’re writing to is as thick as mince? Then you’ll enjoy these…
Woman appalled by notebook with actual notes inside
A WOMAN who enjoys stationery as an abstract, decorative concept has been disgusted to see it being used for its assigned purpose. Publishing editor Emma,…
Woman hears boyfriend voicing contrary opinion in his head
A MAN has been shocked to learn that his partner can hear any of his inner thoughts that express dissent. Anthony, not his real name,…
‘Cool’ teacher actually fully grown adult seeking approval of 15-year-olds
A TEACHER recognised by his pupils as ‘cool’ is actually a 28-year-old man desperate to be popular with children, it has emerged. Julian, not his…
Couple start business together because they’re in love
A COUPLE who believe that anything is achievable when you’re in deeply in love are proving it by starting a business. Corey and Sian, not…
Gap year teaches man lots of things everyone already knows
A 22-YEAR-OLD has returned from a gap year full of priceless first-hand knowledge that is only available to others via Wikipedia. Rubin, not his real…
Mullet official non-binary haircut
GEN Z has confirmed the mullet is the official hairstyle of anyone who wishes to announce they stand outside of the gender binary. Neither boyish…
Gen Z worker on mental health break after getting text that ended in full stop
AN office worker is taking time off work with stress after receiving a message from an older colleague that concluded with a full stop. Josh,…
Woman who suddenly started posting inspirational quotes has definitely been dumped
A WOMAN who started posting generic images with inspiring quotes written across them to Instagram has definitely been chucked. Lucy, not her real name, stopped…
Lots of lazy bastards have jobs
THOUSANDS of bone idle people have full-time paid employment, it has emerged. As the government once again backed ‘hard workers’, lazy employed people have been…
Man who says ‘correct me if I’m wrong’ has no intention of being corrected
A MAN who asks people to correct him if he was wrong does not in fact wish to be corrected, it has emerged. Jon, not…
As a 55-year-old newspaper columnist, nobody understands why young people are angry better than I do
THE young are furious. And, as a middle-aged newspaper columnist living in Hampstead, nobody is better placed to empathise than I am. Across the world…
Man concerned to learn girlfriend has friends
A MAN in a new relationship was concerned to learn that his girlfriend has friends and an active social life. Tom has been dating Jo,…
Woman sets healthy boundaries of only doing what she wants to
A WOMAN has informed friends she is prioritising her mental wellbeing by setting boundaries of only doing what she enjoys. Karen, not her real name, and…
Worker enters seventh year of anger
AN OFFICE worker has been furious with his colleagues, clients and all office equipment for seven years straight, it has emerged. Systems analyst Wayne, not his…
Can you solve this dad’s text that is leaving his children stumped?
A SIMPLE monosyllabic text from a father has left his family scratching their heads. Can you make sense of it? The children of 48-year-old Martin,…
Men on lads’ weekend making pathetic excuses to call the women they love
MEN on a boys-only getaway are concocting ridiculous reasons for calling the women they share their lives with so as not to lose face. Tired,…