A COUPLE who drunkenly fumbled their way into a relationship are smugly offering dating advice to their single friends, it has emerged.
Despite having only got together as a result of being six pints deep, self-satisfied couple Jack and Lauren, not their real names, are nevertheless prone to offering tips to their single friends on how to find a romantic partner.
Jack said: “You’ve got to be confident. The sort of confident that leaves you hungover until mid afternoon the following day.
“There’s no point being a nice guy. Girls hate that. What they really want is for a man to sidle up to them, slur some sweet incomprehensible nothings through reeking breath, then go straight in for a snog. Works every time.
“Before you know it you’ll both be rolling around on the floor in a grunting heap as the barman politely asks you to leave. It’s the sort of romantic story you pass on to your grandkids.”
Lauren said: “You’re wasting your time by trying to be a charming, attractive, witty person. Half a dozen pints will do all the legwork for you, plus they’ll make the other person more appealing too.
“Of course you could always stick to thinking up snappy answers to Hinge prompts and swiping your life away, but how’s that going for you? Exactly.”