A WOMAN has received the dating advice she was looking for after adjusting her anecdote in response to feedback she did not deem useful.
Hannah, not her real name, of Rotherhithe told friends about a current romantic interest whose Coldplay ringtone went off during sex, expecting to be told to end the relationship, only to be advised he sounds like a realistic long-term prospect.
She continued: “He’s asked me on a weekend away. I don’t intend to go. So I thought I’d gather the necessary moral authority to tell him it’s over from my girls.
“But Bridget said I should put his phone on silent and go, Abby said it wasn’t so bad even when I told her it was Fix You, and Maria even implied I was being too picky and that was why all my relationships ended. Excuse me?
“Not what I want to hear when I’m after back-up to end it. So I made a few adjustments before approaching my sister, bolstering the story with false claims about him grabbing our waitresses’ wrist when his order was wrong, and she told me to dump him.
“It just goes to show that if you want the right advice, you’ve got to tailor your stories accordingly. I’ve told him it’s over and he can go to Margate on his own. And serve him bloody right.”
Hannah’s friend Karen, not her real name, said: “I just wanted a weekend off Hannah’s whining. But on reflection that wasn’t fair on the poor man.”