British vloggers Dan Howell and Phil Lester — known for their gaming and comedic slice-of-life style videos — are taking ownership of their long-rumored romance after more than a decade of incessant fan “shipping” online.
The longtime collaborators revealed Monday that they have been dating for more than a decade, pretty much since they gained popularity in the late aughts. The YouTubers confirmed they have been an item in a 46-minute video titled “Are Dan and Phil in a Relationship?”
“We fell into it hard and fast in 2009,” Howell, 34, said. “And here we are almost 16 years later.”
Before Howell and Lester, 38, spoke about the origins of their couple-dom, the YouTubers— who both came out as gay in 2019 — talked extensively about why they waited go public with their relationship. First, they tackled some fans’ obsessive behavior.
Howell and Lester began appearing in each other’s YouTube videos in the late aughts and eventually, in 2014, launched their shared gaming channel — that page currently boasts 2.95 million subscribers. The pair documented their lives together, opening the door for fans to speculate on their relationship and foster a parasocial connection, Howell explained in the video. Among the most prominent internet personalities at the time, Howell and Lester often became the subject of fan fiction and fan edits on Tumblr.
“Some think that shipping real-life people is problematic. I think that humans cannot stop this natural tendency,” Howell said, later adding that “a line gets crossed” when fan speculation turns into investigation.
The pair recalled fans combing through their old social media posts, reaching out to their loved ones and filming them out in the real world. “If all this digging, investigating was small it could’ve been ignored,” Lester said.
“The problem is this became so big we could not ignore it,” Howell continued.
Howell and Lester also recalled fans dissecting their on-camera interactions and spreading the romance rumors during live events. Ultimately, the rumors became “too loud to ignore,” Lester said.
Howell said he was wary about how going public with Lester would impact their professional dynamic and spoke candidly about how his struggles with his sexuality affected their relationship.
“I had an extremely homophobic childhood,” Howell said, adding that the constant fan pressure to address the rumors took a toll on his mental health. He said that when he and Lester gained popularity he felt he “had to hide the relationship because I was still hiding who I was to my friends, family, myself.”
Online chatter didn’t help and “hit a nerve,” he said. Howell said Lester was “like a literal ray of light in my life back then” and committed to protecting their relationship.
“So when other people tried to grab it and drag it into the light, I felt completely violated,” Howell continued. “Having all of these people trying to out us and being so hostile to me when I tried to hide it was so triggering. Honestly, it could’ve killed me.”
Lester added: “It’s sad because those should’ve been the happiest times of our life. It was so amazing and we were having so much fun personally.”
Invasive fan behavior hung over their success “like a curse” and that led to anxiety and panic attacks, Howell said. Lester also recalled a “breaking point” in their relationship where a personal video leaked on YouTube and spread online, with re-posters refusing to take it down.
As they acknowledged the negative impact of some fans’ invasive behavior, the YouTubers said they don’t hold a grudge. Howell said the skeptics “were just young people that had absolutely no idea what the effects of their actions were.”
“In the same way that we all want people in our lives to give us patience and grace and benefit of the doubt if we ever make a mistake, I have to extend that to the world in regards to this story,” he added. “So I understand and I forgive.”
Howell and Lester, whose work also includes BBC Radio programming and several live tours, ended their video announcing the launch of a new podcast.